Each day is a new day...and praise the Lord...His mercies are new everyday! :)
Each day has been a day of: new beginnings, new giggles, new joys, new trials, new likes, new dislikes, learning new things about Zeke, Zeke learning new things about us. The most recent "new" in our day, was seeing Zeke's guarded "walls" starting to come down, more trust begin to build and Zeke starting to show love!
{THANKFUL}
The list of "new" things each day could go on and on...We are living in a time of "get to know" and "guess what today will bring" This time has it's challenges, some moments being extremely tough, but we have been amazed at Zeke's progress this week, and are treasuring the little moments of breakthrough and joy! To start...praise the Lord almighty...jet lag has almost left the building!!!!To go back to our roots in language...UFF DA! The lack of sleep/crazy sleeping patterns doesn't help ANYTHING or ANYONE! So...moving on! So, zài jiàn (goodbye) jet lag! In these two weeks of being home we have recognized the life of a 17 month old, but also some struggles he is facing. While Zeke has "attached" to us fairly well, we were recognizing that it was a lot of practical attachment. He saw us as care-takers...as the people who provide his food for him, give him toys and books to play with, change his diapers, give him his baths...basically just take care of his needs. While this is really a good thing...it hit us that he really didn't seem to understand the LOVE side of it. We knew this would take time...no one can determine how long it will take for little ones to become comfortable, to build trust, and then to build love...but it is something you pray will happen quickly, just because you want them to know they are safe, cared for, and loved. Zeke, so far, has had the emotions of joyfulness - giggles galore and excitement...and the other side of things, anger and frustration. He has often handled his frustration in an angry scream...and does not want to be held, cuddled, or comforted. We had learned about this in training we took during our adoption process (which we are SO SO SO thankful for!) and were reminded of it by another adoptive Mama. Much of where Zeke's anger came from is grief. (breaks our hearts) All you want to do is comfort your kiddo when you know they are upset...but we knew Zeke needed his space (space, meaning not trying to hold him, but to stay near him) and time. His grieving and anger have lessened each week.We know we have only had Zeke for less than a month, but these days can seem very long and we have thought through and learned so much each day that it has felt like longer. It can be very tiring physically and emotionally. This week, we saw major breakdown of walls and loves come from our little guy.
{OH, THE JOY!}
Wednesday night we discussed how much we needed to show Zeke love by showing love to each other...we have to lead by example...We've been praying for little Zeke's heart...for him to feel at peace here, to feel safe, and to be able to comprehend what LOVE is. I am not exaggerating or lying here...this is what happened the next day. Thursday morning Zeke woke up like usual...we had our oatmeal breakfast like usual, and then it was getting ready/play time! As we were getting ready to play, Zeke ran up to me and fully hugged me! Like, not "could that be constituted as a hug???" but actually hugging me and saying "Awwwwww" THEN he put his little lips and chubby cheeks up against my cheek over and over...HE WAS GIVING ME KISSES!!!! I was in awe...and soooo thankful! Little Bugga Boo felt safe enough to show love!!! This happened multiple times throughout the day to both Justin and I. What a joy! He wanted to be held almost the whole day (we have to also give credit to those rude little teethers that are coming, causing Zeke pain...poor little guy) but we will take the "loves", so proud of our boy!
Since then, Zeke has wanted many hugs and kisses.
{BLESSING}
My heart just breaks to think about all that Zeke has gone through. I am a person that really struggles with change. It takes me time to let down my own walls to change and accept the new. I have hesitancies, I have doubts, I have nerves, until I see things start to take a turn toward becoming structured and normal in life. I have been through quite a bit of change and unknowns...but I always had family, always had a warm and safe home, always had so many "knowns" in life.
It is incredible to see how fast (even with the days feeling long to us) Zeke has overcome so many "unknowns", challenges and new joys, trials, etc. in his year and a half of life. We were so excited to come home so we could start life with Zeke in our comfort zone. While this IS very important, and so good for Zeke too...it is so much change for Zeke. We look different, sound different, our home smells different, things feel different...it is completely different for his little senses.
So while these days are so tough at times, we celebrate the little big victories and pray for more patience, more love, and more understanding of our Zeke Shuo. We know that the struggles are very real and are not over...we are still in a "rollercoaster" phase that has many ups and downs per day. And, being honest...the "downs" can make for exhausting and TOUGH days...but the "ups" come and overwhelmingly bring joy to our day. We know the days will eventually even out more instead of being on the rollercoaster...but we celebrate in the victories that each day bring and continue to face the challenges! Way to go, Zeke!!! Momma and Dada are cheering you on!!
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| This is the cheering we do with the daily victories as well as football touchdowns ;) |
Thank you so much for praying for us! We appreciate, so very much, the thoughts, prayers, sweet messages and encouragement!
We had Zeke's first doctor appointment on Monday. This appointment was a general pediatric appointment with a wonderful doctor at the Adoption Clinic that is part of the University of Washington Medical Center.
We received our referral for the craniofacial and cleft team at Seattle Children's Hospital, and have our first 6 consult appointments this coming Monday, January 12th. We will be planning out the course for Zeke's bilateral palate and alveolar ridge repair. His lip repair, that happened in China, appears great, so we are hopeful that everything is well taken care of with that.
So far, we are feeding Zeke most foods in pureed form...he is eating well for the most part. Even well enough, that he is getting picky with what he wants to eat :)
We have stayed cooped up for quite a bit of the time...but with an active toddler, we needed some time outside too. We heard that the Snoqualmie Falls were so full and active right now, so we thought we'd go check them out with Zeke! He loved them...of course pointing out everything he could find and laughing a lot! Felt so good to get fresh air!
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